The holidays can be a time of joy, but they can also bring unwanted holiday stress. This is especially true for families with difficult relationships or dynamics. Dealing with family members on a regular day can be a challenge, but the holidays seem to intensify those tensions!
If you’re worried about your upcoming family gathering, you’re not alone. While you can’t change how people act, you can take a few proactive measures to keep your own sanity intact. In this article, we’ll share a few ways to help you manage holiday stress when your family starts driving you crazy.
Managing Holiday Stress When Family Drives You Crazy
Set Boundaries Ahead of Time
A lot of holiday stress can result from people pressing certain trigger points in others. While you can’t change behaviors, setting boundaries with family members can help to reduce those conflicts and misunderstandings.
For example, tell your family ahead of time if there are certain topics you don’t want to discuss. This also applies when setting boundaries to create personal space. Discussing these issues can be a proactive approach that may prevent things from unnecessarily escalating at home.
Practice Breathing Techniques and Meditation
Those with difficult family dynamics understand how easy it is for things to get out of control quickly. And when tensions rise, it can be hard to bring yourself back down. However, simple breathing exercises and certain meditation techniques can help you remain calm when situations spiral.
When you feel the stress coming on, take a second to do the following:
- Inhale slowly and deeply for a count of four
- Hold your breath for another four seconds
- Slowly exhale for four to eight seconds
- Repeat three to four times
Take Breaks When Needed
When things start to feel too overwhelming, don’t be afraid to step away for a few minutes. Taking a short break can prevent situations from escalating – within yourself and when dealing with others.
Leave the room to find somewhere quiet for a while. Use a meditation app to guide you through those stressful moments. Or go for a short walk to get a breath of fresh air. Whatever it is, do what feels right for you in the moment.
Practice Self-Care
Dealing with family can be difficult, especially when juggling the expectations of multiple people. But don’t forget to prioritize the most important person in these situations – you! Your well-being is important, if not the most important, thing you should be focused on.
Practicing self-care, even at a family event, can help you stay grounded in times of chaos. This could be limiting your engagement in certain tops or having a buffer activity when things get tense.
Limit Alcohol Consumption
Holiday gatherings and parties generally go hand-in-hand with alcohol. And while there’s nothing wrong with drinking at these events, understanding that alcohol can heighten emotions. Excessive drinking can make it difficult to stay in control of your emotions and to deal with situations logically. Not to mention, dealing with an after-dinner hangover can also bring unwanted holiday stress.
While you don’t have to refrain from alcohol altogether, try to limit your intake to one or two. That way, you can still participate in the festivities without worrying about things getting too out of hand.
Anchor Yourself with Support
Never underestimate how important your support network can be in times of stress. If possible, bring someone you love and trust along to the family dinner. That way, you’ll have a companion by your side who understands what you are going through and can offer support.
Even if you don’t bring a friend or partner, it’s still a good idea to have someone you can vent to. You can call or text them for support during dinner or, if it helps, debrief with them after the event.
For critical situations, talking with a professional can also be beneficial. Therapy and counseling are useful tools for people who want assistance dealing with (or overcoming) difficult family situations.
Have an Exit Plan
When times get really tough, it’s perfectly okay to leave. As mentioned earlier, you have every right to prioritize your mental and physical well-being. However, doing so can be difficult, especially if you’re trying to keep the peace among family members.
Therefore, it’s always a good idea to have an exit plan. Have a few excuses in your pocket that you can use if you want to leave. You may also consider driving separately or arranging a ride with a friend so you can go when you want.
Manage Your Expectations
At the end of the day, there is only so much you can do to keep the peace. A successful family dinner requires the participation of everyone involved, and sometimes, people act on their own accord. Families aren’t perfect, and it’s helpful to accept that disagreements and awkward moments can happen.
However, there are things you can control, like your attitude and your reaction to how others speak and behave. If possible, you can also focus on the positives, whether it’s the meal, shared traditions, or just time spent together.
Family gatherings can be fun, but they can also be extremely stressful if tensions run high or unresolved conflicts come up. But with these tips on managing holiday stress, you can approach these dinners with a healthier mindset. If you are bringing children along to the festivities, make sure you take their needs into consideration too. Toxic stress in children can be a real issue, and many kids have trouble coping with anxiety. And if situations become too tough, you may want to consider professional family counseling. That way, you can focus on the root issues and ensure that the holidays next year go off without a hitch.
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